They didn’t say how many, how often, or that they might change daily. But I did know it was coming. Shots.
For some reason when it came to my egg freezing decision, I didn’t read much of anything. I didn’t research, I didn’t find blogs about other stories, I didn’t try to listen to advice. I just committed to the “yes.”
Once I said “yes” I knew there was no turning back. Therefore, why waste my energy on information that might scare me, or shock me or slow down the process.
I knew instinctively that my sister (if you missed it before, she is a fertility nurse :)) knew the ins and outs. At this point in my life a decision was the only thing I needed for myself.
And did I mention my sister, who is an angel on earth, happens to be the most conservative, grounded, balanced person I know?Therefore if she gives egg freezing the green light, I knew my path was full speed ahead with her.
Then I found myself staring down what felt like the loneliest road of all. The first needle. It happened on a Sunday evening. I knew it was coming. My sister previously prepped me in one of the Shady Grove Fertility sterile counsel rooms. We practiced prepping the Follistim needle and making the Menopur. My sister was thorough and very helpful.
All that practice escaped out of my little apartment window on that Sunday evening. Time was also slipping by, as the fertility shot window from 6pm to 9pm was coming to a close. The clock chimed 8:00pm and I thought to myself, “Let’s just do this! But first, get my sister on the phone!”
She talked me through everything. First of all I knew in my rational mind this was above the ordinary SGF experience. My sister wasn’t calling each patient nightly to coach them through their shots. I knew I was extra sensitive and she was calmly coaching me through it (while my little niece and nephew screamed around in the background!). As the minutes clicked by and I just stared at the needle near my belly, I knew my sister would only give me a few more minutes on the phone.
I thought, “Am I being more high maintenance then my niece and nephew in the background?” Yep, pretty much. I didn’t want my sister to have to handle me as well. Get yourself together lady, is what was running through my head.
There they were, two needles.
It had been 15 minutes since we got on the phone. I swiped about 5 alcohol pads on the same spot on my stomach. My greatest fear was that my dog or cat’s breath had infected the site. Meanwhile the minutes kept clicking.
So with the patch of stomach fat in my left hand, the shot in my right and my angel on speaker, I knew the time was now. The first thing I asked my sister to tell me about was what she was doing. “Oh, packing school lunches,” she said. “Okay well tell me about those,” I answered. Clearly I needed a distraction.
She started telling me about yellow bell peppers and how much she loved them lately.
And I did it; one shot after the other. All the while I heard words about yellow peppers and the preference for those over the plain green ones. As I listened and focused on the tasks at hand, I noticed something else happening. I stopped breathing at some point throughout this process. Then I was pretty sure my brain went into panic mode. However I was trying to maintain sanity and began agreeing with my sis about how yellow peppers are amazing.
This is when I realized the room started going black and I heard a high-pitched ringing noise.
Oh boy. I grabbed the phone and tried to walk gracefully to the couch. Legs up before I passed out. Really Radell? Yep, that really happened. I almost passed out from giving myself the two smallest shots in the world.
Safely on the couch with the sensations subsiding and the yellow peppers conversation ending, I admitted to my near passing out situation. Sis started laughing and laughing and laughing! I knew, I was a mess. The shots really didn’t hurt. I am not sure why it would have caused me to nearly pass out.
In that moment I realized what it really meant. It wasn’t the shots that I was hiding from, it was the reality that I was facing. A point in my life just got really real.
It was only Day 1, but at least I could say – Mission Accomplished.
The journey moves onward. Stay tuned.
AUTHOR: Radell Peischler
Radell Peischler shares the egg freezing story with as many women that will listen. Radell also helps coach women to figure out if egg freezing is right for them. She believes it’s always the right time for a yoga break and carrying around a small dog or two, oh …. and loves the quote, “the world will be saved by the western woman” (Dalai Lama’s words, not hers)!